Strengthen the Belief System

When you see good things, beauty and potential in others, they grow to see it in themselves. When you live with passion, commitment or balance, it is easier for those around you to find it in themselves as well.

The most important role you can fulfill as a parent, relative, friend, etc, is to help children believe in themselves and their capabilities.

Building self-confidence is like igniting a bunch of little candles that glow within your child at any age. If you light lots of little candles they will radiate light, hope and warmth. Those lights nurture confident, loving children who believe in themselves and who become capable.

The language all children, teens and adults understand is love, respect, belief, human contact, play and support.

- Nice on my feelings: Terry Orlick

BACKTALK

When asking your child a simple task like picking up their toys, they may respond in backtalk like, ‘No, I won’t. I’m too tired.’ Or ‘You do it!’ Or the ever popular, ‘You can’t make me!’

Having a child rudely challenge you at every turn can infuriate the most patient parent and you start to worry that you’re raising a defiant child with no manners or consideration for others. This behaviour is common in preschool children. If your child is in elementary school years, these tips will help you conquer this behaviour as well.

Children listen and mimic how we talk to each other and how we talk to them.

Tips on dealing with backtalk:

• Take a deep breath to keep calm


• Make statements simple like, 'I don’t like to be called stupid. I will listen to you when you speak nicely to me.’


• Use choices whenever possible.


• Help children identify and manage their emotions.


• Sometimes calmly ignoring a behaviour may be the best way to discourage it.


• Is your child getting enough time and attention from you? Behaviour like this may mean they need some extra positive attention from you.

* photo by 'sesame ellis'

ROUTINE

Children in the preschool years love routines. They like their lives to be clear, know what's going to happen and they enjoy the security of comfortable repetition. A familiar routine in the morning, at mealtimes, and at bedtime can be comforting to young children and they may even eliminate the need to test limits.


As children grow older, routines can lessen many hassles around homework, or chores, especially when the child is old enough to be involved in creating the routine. The routine then becomes the ‘boss’ where everyone knows what should happen next.

To feel somewhat in control of a world that feels out of control at times, the toddler relies upon routines. The rituals of toddlers can become all consuming, like one little boy who said goodnight every night to twenty-one stuffed animals. Routines need time so allow plenty of it to avoid power struggles.