Tips to get more calm in your home - set clear boundaries:
1. It is difficult at times to agree with your partner on how to parent. You really can't be together on all issues, but limits and setting routines are a good place to be agreeable. Discuss limits you want to see in your home with your partner at a calm time perhaps when you are out for a walk or a dinner. Kids know how to play off of both of you (as if you didn't notice), so it is important to present a united front on these issues. It is comforting and safe for them to know that parents are 'in charge'.
2. Be consistent. If there is no cookie before dinner, then stick to that. The one time you allow that cookie...well, you're back at square one. Your child knows that you do fold...just how far do they have to go to get that cookie? (Remember, they have more energy and stamina than you!)
3. Limits start when they are young, like brushing teeth or not jumping on the couch. When they mature, you need different limits. For example around homework, curfew, electronics. Ask your child for their input. (Kids cooperate more when they are part of the process.) It shows we have confidence in them.
4. Don't change everything all at once. Pick 2 or 3 things you would like to change and focus on those for now. Build your confidence up as well. You will see that when we react differently to situations instead of doing the obvious, kids will change as well.
*artisticcoshop - flickr
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